For Mom
If you are reading this before you deliver, this cannot be overemphasized; Plan for your postpartum needs before your baby arrives. If you have already delivered, it’s not too late to have a gorgeous recovery! Go Home Gorgeous offers many support services such as massage, day breaks and night nanny packages to help you restore, rest and be able to focus on the needs of your little one. Our gift boxes are not only adorable but also offer substantial support for pregnant, postnatal, nursing and weaning moms and for new Dads who might feel a little bit invisible throughout this process!
So many women regard their postpartum period needs as an irrelevant part of their pregnancy journey. To many women, the obviousness of their big, pregnant bellies makes caring for their self extremely relevant. What many fail to realize is that after delivery, even though the baby is no longer “inside” you, all of elements that you need to care for this baby are inside of you. Patience. Voice. Confidence. Strength. Heart. All of that comes from within. The place inside of you where your baby used to be is now filled with the tools that you need to raise the life you created. You have to eat well, rest, exercise, and be as good to your body and as aware of your body as you did when you were with child in order to best care for the marvelous and busy being you have created.
Keep in mind, most women enter the postpartum time exhausted. Sleeping in the last trimester can be difficult. Also birthing a baby is likely the hardest physical thing a women will do in her lifetime. Some women have likened it to being in a car accident. Every muscle in your body will have been strained. Some of you who will have major surgery, anticipated or not, will have a long road of recovery ahead of you. It is our hope that every new mother has an opportunity to Go Home Gorgeous. That all new mothers have that extra pampering, that chance to center, breathe and take a moment to relax before they leave the hospital.
The time you spend in the hospital is for recovery. It is your last and only chance to pause, have someone else care for your child and take a moment to center yourself. It can be very helpful to limit the number of visitors that you have in the hospital. This baby will be here for the rest of your life but you have only a few days to pull it together.
Chances are you were very informed during your pregnancy on what was happening to your body and baby, and you stayed apprised of the changes ahead. Chances are you have taken a newborn class on newborn care or read up on the different ways and techniques to soothe, clothe and care for your baby. It is also likely that you haven’t spent much time focusing on what will happen to you after this baby has been born. You must wonder what additional changes your body will go through as it returns to a non-pregnant state. I remember being so unprepared for how empty I felt when the baby was no longer inside of me. How the gigantic mass that had become my body, suddenly felt so hollow and within the emptiness the purpose of my body seemed to loose point. Throughout the pregnancy my body knew exactly what to do. In making this baby I didn’t have to tell my body “okay it’s day 87, time to put the ears on.” My body, seemingly effortlessly, created this living human. And yet as this little human lay before me in my mind, heart, body and soul I was clueless. I had no idea what he needed, or how to make him stop crying. I wanted to put him back inside where he would be safe from my inadequacies.
As my milk came in and my body seemed to regain some of it’s necessity, I felt differently…a little better. But then nursing was very hard for me. The first time around and I didn’t do it longer than 3-4 weeks. That fourth trimester was a rollercoaster of drifting identities, feelings of incompetence, and unworthiness. How could this precious baby be in my care, when the part of me that was his mother was only a few days old too. That part of me wasn’t born until I had him. But just like any job, any new responsibility one cannot be expected to be triumphant the first time we try. This is why it gets easier, the more children you have. At the time of writing this, my children are 5, 4 and 2 which means I now have 11 years of parenting experience. I am going to share with you what I had wished I had known during those first weeks, months. Take of it what you will and please see the resources guide for more information.
Top Ten Tips for a Gorgeous Post Partum Recovery
Birth plans typically conclude upon the birth of the baby, failing to
take into account the "Birth of the Mother" which doesn’t happen as
quickly as the birth of a child. It isn’t as visible or as tangible
when a mother arrives, yet it is no less miraculous. Extend your birth
plan to include your birth as well. Set yourself up to be supported
and comfortable during your recovery so that you can spend less time
uncomfortable and overwhelmed and more time bonding and tending to your
newborn child. Designate a close woman friend or relative to be there
for you. Someone who will just come over if you don't call back in a timely
manner. Someone who you trust and who will do things for you without
having to be asked. Someone who will understand if you snap, or don't
preface a request with "please" or forget to say thank you.
Have this person be your person and identify her before you need her.
If no one comes to mind that you feel comfortable with, call us. We have
special, qualified, intuitive women on staff who will be your "person".
The better you take care of yourself the better able you will be to
take care of your baby. And this will never change. But for those early
weeks and months that you are post partum it is especially true. It
only takes one missed shower to make you skip a playgroup or outing,
which can begin the slippery spiral that can lead to a very dark place.
Which does not mean that by skipping a shower you are going to plummet
to the depths of depression, but keep in mind the better you feel about
yourself the better you are going to feel about who you are. The better
able to are to understand yourself and your needs, the better able you
will be able to connect and know your child. Loosing yourself helps no one.
If you didn’t receive the Go Home Gorgeous postpartum luxury gift box,
take note: You will need some XXL, gigantic, soft cotton underpants. Get
yourself the low cut bikini style. Trust me. When your tummy is taut
and with child, it is cute and firm. When that baby comes out your
belly will, well, it will kind of implode and collapse into a saggy
mass. I know it’s horrible and I felt and looked like Homer Simpson for
at long time! But it happens. Being prepared and setting yourself up
to be comfortable during this physically mushy time is just plain
sensible. You will need the low cut briefs because in addition to being
unsightly your midriff will also be very sore. If you happen to have
only the high cut ones, cut the elastic so that it isn’t tight on your
tummy. And do not let your husband see you in these, don’t even
wash them. Toss them and move on. Use them to get through that
first messy week or so, and remember you are gorgeous!
Water is the KEY ingredient to ushering the toxins out of your body.
It is also critical to milk production. The more you drink, the better.
You will know when you are drinking enough because you will use
the ladies room plenty and you will experience night sweats.
Night sweats are uncomfortable and messy but kind of awesome.
You might feel soaked, but clean, and like you just lost 7lbs! The
more you sweat the more you will need to replace the toxic water you
lost with healthy, pure water. In addition to helping you loose baby
weight (much of which is water retention. Seems weird that water helps
water retention but it does.) drinking lots of water will also give you
energy, and clarity. Drink water the minute you wake up, before you
nurse, or do anything. Consuming healthy amounts of water is a big part
of taking care of yourself. Give yourself easy access to water as well.
Keep a pitcher or large bottles of water in the nursery, near your bed,
even in the bathroom.
You don’t need the visual appearance of dry skin to remind you that you
are tired and dehydrated. Moisturizing your hands will keep them soft
and smooth, all the better for caressing your baby. (We highly
recommend all natural L’Occitane shea balm lotion and lip gloss, found
at L’Occitane in The Galleria.) Keep your lips supple with lip-gloss as
well. If you do nothing for yourself all day, do this one thing at
night. Put something hydrating on your lips before you go to bed. This
way when you awake in the middle of the night your lips will feel plump
and moist This will possibly ensure you have a good day the next day. I
remember vividly being so tired and dry and not realizing it until I
had plunked down in my sons (third child’s) nursery to feed him. But
instead of bonding with my baby during our precious alone time, I sat
and peeled threads of dry skin off of my lips. Consequently, the next
morning my lips stung whenever I drank water, so I didn’t drink very
much, which lead to me not producing enough milk, which made for a
long, fussy day for my baby. Had I put lip moisturizer on that ‘bad’
day could have been avoided. Hydrating your skin and lips allows you to
take care of yourself and make you feel gorgeous.
If you developed any…lets call them indulging habits while you were
pregnant, the earlier you give them up the better. The more healthy you
eat, meaning fresh fruits and vegetables, soups, meals high in protein
and lower in salt (otherwise you will need to drink even more water!)
the better you will feel and the better your body will function.
Especially the first few months after giving birth you need to function
at optimal speed. Don’t deprive yourself of desert here and there, or
pizza once in a while, but be sensible about your diet. Sociale Gourmet
offers healthy, delicious and convenient meals that you can ‘make and
take’ or order on line and pick them up curbside. Remember, you are
still eating for two. Hang in there Gorgeous!
Sadly, this needs to be a reference to your bathtub, not a spirited
beverage. It can be so tempting to just have ½ glass of wine, or a
beer, or even a little coffee. But I am telling you it is not worth it.
Alcohol and caffeine are diuretics and will rob you of the precious
hydration you need to flush toxins from your postpartum body. They will
also stimulate or depress your sensitive nervous system that is
struggling to get itself back in order. Additionally they can disrupt
your ability to sleep. Even if you fool yourself into thinking that
wine helps you sleep, it might help you ‘fall’ asleep, but the sleep
you get will not be as quality as the sleep you would have had without
it. Just hang in there! The more disciplined you are now the sooner
this will be behind you! Honestly, it might taste good for a moment,
and feel good, in the long run it’s no good.
Around weeks 4-6 reality can hit hard. Normalcy settles in, guests go
home, spouses return to work…and the house, the errands, your personal
maintenance needs tend to accumulate at a time when your sleep, time
and tolerance is diminishing. Go Home Gorgeous has an incredible roster
of doulas who will run your errands and tend to your little one while
you shower, we have organizers who will help you get on top and stay on
top of the papers, the toys and little things that don’t fit anymore,
we have housekeepers that use 100% natural products and can do the
deep, deep cleaning for you, safety experts to child proof your home
and even aesteticians who can do an in-home facials and or wax you.
Best of all, we have we have the best massage therapists in town to help
you calm, center and relax. To have a massage in your home, not have to
drive, park, and drive home is such a treat. Let us come to you, if we
can’t help you we will find someone who can.
Here is a brief timeline of what you can expect…give or take regarding your physical body; varies with casesarian:
Days 1-3 at home: Your body is much more empty, saggy, sore, soft
than you imagined. You are bleeding more than you imagined. It is scary
to wipe and use the bathroom. Use your PERIBOTTLE to spray that ‘down
there’ area clean and gently blot with a generous amount of toilet
paper. Keeping your wounds clean will help you heal faster. Your
peribottle will be your best friend. If you did not Go Home Gorgeous or
receive our Luxury Postpartum Gift Box try to find a way to get
additional Peribottles. Most people have more than one bathroom and
even though you only need them for about 10 days, you won’t want to
live without it. (Call us we will send you one!)
Days 3-8: You feel great! Oddly energetic and happy to be home.
Maybe a little manic, but not necessarily in a bad way. You probably
have support to help with the baby and everyone is happily distracted
and feeling vital. Be careful that you don’t over do it during this
time and take on too much. Make a note to yourself that if you are
feeling a high, there is an equal low out there somewhere and brace
yourself for it.
Days 8-9: Maybe getting a little moody and irritated. You may feel
emotionally up and down. You may be crying a lot (another reason to
drink more water!). You might feel so much love for your baby or
indifference. Just take note of what you are feeling and say it out
loud if you have to. Get your “Persons” or our number out and tape it
to the phone. (952) 221-4663, we are here for you 24/7.
Day 10: A Physical milestone. Day ten is a big day. You will feel
much better. Things will have started to heal, are less sore and your
saggy belly is considerably smaller.
Week 2-3: Visitors might be coming and going and your husband might
be going back to work fulltime this week. You are starting to have more
alone time with your baby. You have figured out what to do and you may
have kind of a routine going. You might begin to realize that you have
not enough time to do what you used to do, but too much time to forget
about your old life entirely. This is a great time to go for a walk. If
your climate doesn’t permit you to be outside, find a conservatory, a
zoo, or even a mall. First go for greenery, then animals and if you
must, go shopping! The Galleria has the cleanest, private nursing
lounges in town. The hallways are never crowded yet never desolate. It
is an ideal place for an outing with your baby of any age! If this is
your first outing, alone, go prepared. Extra diapers, change of
clothes, wipes. It can be scary but it has to happen sometime.
Week 3-4: Reality might be setting in now. 3-4 weeks of getting up
in the middle of the night is probably starting to catch up with you.
Maybe some of the medical bills, things that you thought were covered
are trickling in. Perhaps your husband is getting antsy to be physical.
Maybe you are even missing your old job and feeling unsure of what to
do with yourself. This is a tough time. The visitors are gone and there
you are.
Once you hit 6 weeks, then 8 weeks you will realize that you know more
than you think you know. Your baby will be somewhat predictable. You
might be able to start wearing some of your old things, or feel up to buying
new clothes. By twelve weeks you should be feeling pretty good, getting
used to your new routine, the babies needs and possibly developing a nap
schedule. If at anytime throughout this time, or going forward you have
questions regarding napping, feeding, your health, sleep call us. We are
happy to help you or connect you with a supportive moms group.
It takes 60 seconds to relax for one minute. One minute of calm,
quiet, restorative focus can be just enough to get you past the moment
of anxiety where you think you are going to loose it. Set a timer if
you have to, one minute is a long time. It can be very easy to fall
into a mind set that you no longer have ‘time’ for yourself, or that
you couldn’t’ possibly rest (not sleep) just rest since there is always
so much to do. Someone told me once “Babies need mothers not martyrs.”
And it’s true. No one wins if you are too tightly wound to enjoy life.
You may not have the time that you used to, but you will. Everything is
going to be okay, starting now. Remember, you are Gorgeous, confident,
strong and are a great mother.
PS…Many women go into their delivery with a birth plan and if they
stray from the plan or if the unexpected occurs they can hold on to
feelings of guilt, failure or resentment. Try to approach your labor
relaxed and with the peace of knowing that your body is going to do
what your body is going to do. You can think and plan all day long, but
you body (as in mind/body connection) may have missed the memo. Trust
yourself and trust your body, believe in your body. If you have issues
regarding your delivery because things didn’t go as planned, now is the
time to let it go. Even if you have ten babies this is a physical
miracle that will only happen a few times in your life. Your body has a
mind all it’s own and it will perform and ‘deliver’ what it can.
Separate for a moment, mind and body and be grateful for the strength
and power of your body. While it is important to allow yourself the
reflection and time to heal emotionally, holding on to regretful
feelings will only hold you back from the beauty of the life before
you. You did it! The baby is here and this life is just beginning!